Using NLP to improve your ability to set boundaries
As you can see from the pics for this blog I’m going to gloss over the key techniques here, Reframing and Sensory Acuity, rather here I’m going to show you how simply used these techniques can instill the mind-set for you to put boundaries in place.
Reframing is gold when it comes to boundary guilt. So many of us carry this weird belief that setting a boundary makes us selfish, unkind, or difficult. NLP helps us flip that on its head.
Instead of “I’m letting them down.”
You can reframe it as
“I’m modelling self-respect.” Or instead of “
They’ll be upset,” reframe to:
“They’ll learn to respect my needs.”
A reframe shifts your perception of a situation so you can take action from a place of empowerment rather than fear. And once your inner dialogue changes, your outer communication becomes way more effective.
(Don’t worry too much here at the 2 examples, we will go into a lot more depth in future blogs around reframing and language patterns)
sensory acuity.
This is the art of really paying attention to the subtle cues others give off—body language, tone of voice, facial expressions. When you’re setting a boundary, being tuned in like this helps you gauge how it’s landing, whether you need to clarify, and when it’s time to stop explaining. Remember, setting a boundary is not about convincing someone—it’s about communicating clearly and calmly.
NLP teaches you to stay present, listen deeply, and adjust your message without giving up your position. That’s the sweet spot.
These techniques once you become proficient will be ready for you to use whenever you’re in a challenging interaction. You don’t have to over-explain, apologise, or shrink. You just need to be grounded, clear, and consistent.
In the next blog, we’ll take this even further by exploring language patterns—specific ways to phrase your boundaries using NLP principles so they land with clarity and kindness (and less pushback).
In the meantime, why not try setting a boundary this week using an anchor or reframe? Practice makes proficient Perfect Practice leads to unconscious imprinting which in turn leads to power.
Start to set boundaries on anything or anyone slowing your progress to achieve your desired goals/outcomes.
