I Know as I was There!
Birmingham City Council. The dirty, defiled, dump of England’s destined to forever be the Second City, the last piss pot pool of pity. The UK’s Capital of illiterate Mongols…(nope not the bearded hordes from the time of Genghis Khan but the squalid, homed, incestuous, serial-sister breeding types. Birmingham the Capital of the Unfulfilled Kingdom…)
Well come to Birmingham
And it’s council through years of piss poor management, tribal loyalties, corruption, with more back handers given then some the most prolific gay bars in San- Francisco. I know as I’ve been in both and got my hands and other body parts dirty
You can guess my glee when I read that Birmingham shitty due to the recent Bin Strikes where poor working class bin men were being given the proverbial boot as the Council now broke would rather spend millions from their I’ll gotten council tax gains on management consultants like Mckinsey.
These Consulting firms look at what fat arsed lazy grey- suited council managers are currently doing and then consult on what the lazy arsed grey suited management should be doing. Their reports which incidentally are really rare are than raffled by competing City Departments such as Housing, Tax Collecting ,Taking body parts from the elderly. These departments will then bid for these reports which can cost up to £1000,000 a year but it’s all good as it’s tax payers money, their findings are voluntary and really no one gives a hoot as their rarely any colour- coded charts or pictures to colour in so little Abdul and Little Shagjit, who double up as the office BAME (Black and Ethnic Minorities reps) and the office retards, can be tasked with shredding reams of these reports and then taking the confidential waste home to heat up the family tandoors.
Birmingham after the Common-Wealth Games, some would say doomed Common Wealth Games most didn’t give a toss.
Birmingham after the Common-Wealth Games some would say “doomed” Common Wealth Games most didn’t give a toss.
Where the athletes city cost over a billion pounds to build after learning from the success of the games, the empty purpose built city was quickly taken over by the asylum seeking athletes and their families the whole athletes village was turned over to Serco and is now being run as a Centre of Excellence or as in parlance an asylum center.
Birmingham is once again using tax payers money and this time opening a theme park …called Squalor-land. Sources say it will have four Zones: Zone 1 Diptheria, Zone 2: Chlorea, Zone 3 Small Pox and Zone 4: Monkeypox. With the added bonus that children would have there own Zone: Gen-No-Slide with a 90mph Toyota Yaris sponsored rollercoaster one of the fastest in the world, the children’s Lost and Orphaned Zone will be aptly called Typhoid Lane guaranteed that all children who have a go will catch it.
The elderly will most probably die from the more realistic adult themed Centre- parc styled accommodation and rides such as “Dodgem the taxi fare” and a Virtual Reality ride, “Chase Carousel” where they get to chase a Roma gypsy to get your iphone back or the “Terrifier Climb” a life size tire mountain littered with discarded syringes ensuring waiting times are kept to a minimum.
There will be a women’s only partition where there will be the newly invented and much anticipated “Toss the bin bags of shit over the fence and let someone else pick them up.” All women partaking will be given a pair of fluorescent arm bands, thus preventing any Senior Government or Council Executives from mistaking the bin bags for Hijab/Niqab wearing Muslim women.
The Culture and Inclusion and Community and safer streets leader Mr Ratinshingbatarat-Jit, who through an interpreter said “He was delighted that Birmingham will be building such a terrorist attraction (Freudian slip) meaning tourist, with a purpose built 2000 seater Multi Faith Space guaranteed to become a breeding ground for extremism benefitting generational wealth for the underpaid West Midlands Police Force.
Mr Ratinshimgbatarat- Jit also pointed out that Birmingham Pity Council will be introducing an Indian Style street food Court/Caught (Another Freudian slip) as you are almost guaranteed to catch something and due to the councils inclusion and diversity campaign, all the food will taste the same extremely hot chilli …to flavour the rat piss stews that will be offered.
Can’t wait!.
