Les Dawson – A Brief Biography
Les Dawson was one of Britain’s most cherished and distinctive comedians, renowned for his lugubrious expression, razor-sharp wit, and piano-playing parodies. Born on February 2, 1931, in Collyhurst, Manchester, Les came from a working-class background and originally harboured dreams of becoming a serious writer. He held various jobs, including working in a bakery and as a journalist, before his natural comic timing and storytelling flair led him to the stage.
Les found fame in the late 1960s, appearing on television talent shows like Opportunity Knocks, where his deadpan delivery and uniquely Northern humour quickly won over audiences. He became a staple on British television throughout the ’70s and ’80s, starring in shows like Sez Les, The Dawson Watch, and The Les Dawson Show.
Dawson’s humour was rooted in working-class life
with many of his most famous routines revolving around dour Northern mothers-in-law, miserable marriages, and the trials of everyday life. He combined sharp satire with a deep affection for his subjects. He was also a master of language, capable of turning mangled clichés and absurd metaphors into comic art.
A skilled pianist, Dawson would often intentionally play classical pieces badly for comedic effect—an act that required real musical talent. His “bad piano” act remains legendary.
Behind the scenes, Les was an intelligent and thoughtful man who loved literature and poetry. He passed away prematurely on June 10, 1993, from a heart attack, but his influence continues to be felt across generations of British comedy. With his iconic scowl, lugubrious tone, and perfectly timed punchlines, Les Dawson remains a beloved figure and an enduring symbol of British humour at its best.
20 of Les Dawson’s Funniest and Most Popular Jokes
“My mother-in-law said, ‘One day I’ll dance on your grave.’ I said, ‘I hope you do – I’ll be buried at sea.’”
“I can always tell when the mother-in-law’s coming to stay; the mice throw themselves on the traps.”
“The wife’s mother said, ‘When you’re dead, I’ll dance in your grave.’ I said, ‘Good. I’m being buried at sea.’”
“My mother-in-law has a bite like a vulture… and a neck to match.”
“I used to play the piano by ear, but now I use my hands.”
“The wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.”
“There’s a man outside with a big nose. He wants to be let in so he can look around.”
“I wouldn’t say my mother-in-law was ugly, but she went to the beautician and it took twelve hours… for a quote.”
“My house is so small, when I put the key in the front door, I broke the back window.”
“My family is so poor that if I hadn’t been born a boy, I wouldn’t have had anything to play with.”
“My wife has a waist like an hourglass – sticky and full of dead flies.”
“I said to the chemist, ‘Have you got anything for a headache?’ He leaned over the counter and smacked me one.”
“The wife said, ‘Les, if I die, would you remarry?’ I said, ‘No. I’d stay single… until the funeral was over.’”
“My mother-in-law’s so fat, she makes Free Willy look like a goldfish.”
“I went to the doctor. He said, ‘You’ve got hypochondria.’ I said, ‘Not that as well!’”
“My wife said, ‘You never take me anywhere expensive.’ I said, ‘Get your coat love, we’re going to the petrol station.’”
“I got my wife a wooden leg for Christmas. It wasn’t her main present, just a stocking filler.”
“My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well. I was amazed – I never knew they worked.”
“My kids are as sharp as a marble.”
“My wife’s so house-proud, the mice wear slippers.”
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